Why is it that so often times we give our power away when we get involved in a new relationship?  You know how we start to make adjustments to who we normally are to fit the person that we are romantically interested in.  We can start compromising our values to be more compatible with our new love interest.  Usually, we don’t even realize we’re doing it because most of it is happening at a subconscious level.  But let’s face it, statistics on relationships working and growing to their infinite potential are dismal and it’s probably true that most of us need to spend more time paying attention to what we can do to create the loving and nurturing relationships that most humans desire.

One way we can begin to do that is by asking ourselves these question- “What do I truly desire from a relationship?  What exactly do I want to experience in my relationship?  What is the feeling I want to experience?  Once you have a clear vision of what you are truly desiring in a relationship, it’s time for the next big step.  I say it’s a big step because it involves a relationship that is often times a very challenging and intimidating one.  That is your relationship with yourself.  So the next big step is to apply that list of things that you want to experience in your relationship with someone else…to yourself.  When I say YOURSELF, however, I’m not talking about with the part of yourself that you are already consciously aware of.  That is, I’m not referring to the part of you that is feeling a “need” to get anything from anyone else.  I’m talking about connecting and developing a relationship with the part of you that is connected to Source…AKA GOD, the MOST HIGH, et. al.

That can be done through prayer, meditation, or a variety of other methods, and it is an absolutely essential part of manifesting the relationship you truly desire with anyone else.  This is why the Bible says “Love thy Neighbor as you love THYSELF” because you have to love yourself first.  Then you love thy neighbor with that incredible love you have to share that you get direct from connecting to God on a regular basis throughout the day.  When two people bring this powerful divine love energy into their relationship, then there is an incredible opportunity for bliss and harmony in your life together.

If you’re interested in a learning one way to connect to this higher part of yourself, I offer one exercise to do that in my new book The Refrigerator Theory. We also teach this in our SMaRT programs.  Whatever you do to connect to a part of yourself that’s not so caught up in the mental chatter of fears and limiting beliefs, it’s important that you do that on a regular basis to fill up your reservoir of love you have to give your mate or anyone else in your life.  Once you start connecting to this part of yourself, you can begin to implement the guidance that you may receive when your head is clear and ready to hear the voice within.  If you are interested in manifesting a relationship of love, joy, harmony, etc. ask this part of yourself what you can do, or what you may need to transform in order to attract that to you.  Because until you shift whatever part of you that is currently attracting a different experience, you will only attract that over and over again.              This is true whether you are not in a relationship at all, or if you’re in a relationship that is still falling short of what you want.  Often times when I’m feeling a conflict in my relationship, whether it’s spoken or unspoken, I realize that there is an inner conflict in me about something.  Once I discover what that is and shift it, the conflict resolves itself.

The more you are willing to take responsibility for the way you are feeling at any given moment and understand that you have the power within you to shift how you are feeling, the higher the quality of your life will be.  This is because we get to feel empowered instead of feeling like a victim to something that someone else may have done, or to life events that seem to be beyond our control.  We feel empowered because since we are responsible for our own happiness, we are able to respond, as in respons-able!

When we have the consciousness of being pro-active and seeking out the parts of ourselves that are still attracting a limited version of life to us, we feel the power in the truth we can truly create what we want.  However, most of that is just rhetoric without a real tool to be able to identify and shift these limited beliefs and voices of doubt within ourselves.  That’s why we began teaching the Subconscious Mind Reprogramming Technique…because it has worked so successfully for so many people in transforming their lives and helping them to attract to them the life their really looking to live!